Bullet points are a powerful writing device. Done well, they allow writers to highlight and concentrate information. Done poorly, a reader can feel a type of ‘death by bullet point’ - faced with a choppy, inconsistent list of poorly explained items.
Bullet points are an excellent way to cover a lot of ground quickly. They allow us to list key points, commands or options - without having to pay attention to the demands of sentence structure and paragraph writing. But, they need to be written clearly and consistently.
Keep the grammar of your bullet points consistent
Bullet points are a series of alternative endings to your original starter sentence. The starter sentence at the top of your list of bullet points is called the stem. Each bullet that follows below the stem must be able to slot into place next to the stem and make a consistent, grammatically correct sentence. When your bullet points are inconsistent with their stem, your readers will say your writing is confusing and sloppy.
Inconsistent
Our report details how the:
procurement aligns with the company's objectives
helps achieve long-term strategies and goals
fits with government policy objectives.
In the example above, you'll see that the first bullet point is consistent grammatically with the stem - Our report details how the procurement aligns with the company's objectives. So far so good. But what about the second bullet point? Our report details how the helps achieve long-term strategies and goals. Huh? And the third bullet point? Our report details how the fits with government policy objectives. Huh??
Consistent
Our report details how the procurement:
aligns with the company's objectives
helps achieve long-term strategies and goals
fits with government policy objectives.
Ahh much better! A quick tidy-up of the stem and a check to make sure each bullet point fits grammatically and we have a much clearer, snappier set of bullets. Even better, each bullet point now starts with an action word (verb) which gives the reader a sense of energy and purpose. Yay! What a great procurement, we're so pleased we're buying this thing!
Punctuate each bullet point as if it were one long sentence
Your stem or starter sentence must end with a colon. Each bullet point begins in lowercase, with no full stop until your final bullet point. View your entire bullet point as one long sentence - you need one capital letter at the start and one full stop at the end. Take a look at the examples below. Can you spot the errors in the inconsistent bullet points?
Inconsistent
On the day of the site visit, there were:
boxes stored in front of the first aid kit
another box of chemicals blocking access to the garage area
Pallets piled up in front of the wash basin
plus the outside area contained a lot of empty plastic containers.
Consistent
On the day of the site visit, there were:
boxes stored in front of the first aid kit
chemicals in boxes blocking access to the garage area
pallets piled up in front of the wash basin
many empty plastic containers in the outside area.
Inconsistent
A geographic information system can be used to:
support operational discussions
display data sets
locate three waters assets
issues raised by customers can be tracked.
Consistent
A geographic information system can be used to:
support operational discussions
display data sets
locate three waters assests
track issues raised by customers.
Format your bullet points consistently
Keep to the one size and shape of bullet point across your entire document. If you are using sub-bullets, reduce the size and indent below the main bullet as in the example below.
We may need to engage:
New Zealand Tenancy Services for a landlord compliance check
Healthy Homes to carry out a Healthy Homes Standards check. Your home will be assessed against the standard for:
• insulation heating and ventilation
• draft stopping, and moisture ingress.
Keep your bullet points short and sharp
Done well, bullet points will make your document fizz with energy and precision. Keep each point in your list of bullet points short. If one of your bullet points is more than three lines long, you're not writing a bullet point, you're writing a paragraph masquerading as a bullet point. And that black dot at the left margin is just cluttering up your page.
When bullet points do their best work
A favourite bullet point re-write of mine comes from the 2015 Plain Language Awards. This beast-to-beauty change won the Best Plain English Sentence Transformation award for 2015.
Original sentence
The purchasers shall indemnify and keep indemnified the vendors from and against all claims, demands, writs, summonses, actions, suits proceedings, judgements, orders, decrees, damages, costs, losses and expenses of any nature whatsoever which the vendors may suffer or incur in connection with loss of life, personal injury and/or damage to property arising from or out of any occurrence upon the land or the use by the purchasers of the land or any part thereof or to any person or the property of any person using or entering or near the land or occasioned wheresoever it may occur wholly or in part by any act, negligent default or omission by the Purchaser, his employees, customers, agents, invitees or licensees and any other person or persons using or upon the land with his consent or approval expressed or implied provided that this clause shall not make the purchaser liable to indemnify the vendor against any claim arising from the wilful or negligent act, neglect or default of the vendors or their agents, servants, invitees, contractors or employees.
Rewritten sentence with bullet points
The purchaser will compensate the vendor for any costs or losses that relate to:
the death of, or injury to, any person; and/or
damage to any property resulting from:
anything that happens on the land; or
the negligent use of the land by the purchaser or by anyone whom the purchaser allows to use the land unless that cost or loss was directly or indirectly the vendor’s fault.
Ahh, what a precise, clear thing of beauty that re-written bullet point is! For more business writing tips head to our resources page. For business writing coaching and training, either in-person or online, get in touch.